Originally published at The Eden Alternative Blog
Sitting in a local coffee shop, I recently overheard a couple of women talking about ageism and the havoc it wreaks on older people. Working for The Eden Alternative, I was clearly high-fiving them on the inside, happy to hear this topic popping up during casual coffee talk. But then, almost in the same breath, the focus of the conversation shifted to teenagers today. The tone became scornful, and the words “lazy” and “entitled” and “aimless” were peppered throughout the banter.
The scene took me back to a moment during the 2010 Eden Alternative International Conference in Denver, where seven young people between the ages of 11 and 15 participated in our intergenerational experience called Building Bridges. During Day 1 of the track, my co-facilitator and I overheard some conference goers annoyed by the presence of the children there, questioning whether it was appropriate for them to be there at all. Oh, the irony. Kids interested in eradicating ageism at a culture change conference? What were we thinking?
Even well-meaning culture changers seem to get confused about ageism, thinking it is just judgment against older people. But this take on the issue is only one side of the story. To fight ageism, we have to be fully invested in the fight. This means combatting all ageism – ageist behavior aimed at youth and Elders alike. Here’s the Catch 22. When we advocate for ending ageism against Elders – while simultaneously writing off youth – we actually exacerbate ageism toward Elders. How can we expect youth to appreciate the contributions of older people, when we turn around and disrespect theirs? It only deepens the gulf between the two.
Of all the “isms” out there, ageism is the one that we can all relate to. We’ve all been young once, and hopefully, we will all know what it is like to grow old. Yet, despite this fact, ageism is one of the most pervasive and ingrained social patterns in our culture.
The bottom line is that no matter how old we are, we all need to know we have something to offer, that we are valued and appreciated, that our voices count. The Three Plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom exist, in part, due to ageism in our society. When people resort to snap judgments, don’t take the time to know us well as individuals, and write us off as either “too young” or “too old,” we never have the opportunity to share our talents, our gifts, or our generosity. Pigeon-holed by our age, we become ripe for boredom. Take the recent tragedy involving the random shooting in Oklahoma of an Australian baseball player by youth claiming to be “bored.” While an extreme example, it’s a painful reminder that the Three Plagues, gone unchecked, are indeed deadly. When youth aren’t invited to give back, or to contribute somehow, some way, they are going to give up… just like an Elder, who gives up talking, walking, or eating in an impersonal care environment.
I was recently part of an event where youth and adults came together to talk about activism. At one point, we adults formed a circle around the teens. We sang their praises, told them how inspired we were by their brilliance, creativity, and passion. They all sort of glowed afterward. Somehow, they seemed taller; their eyes seem to sparkle more. It was a simple gesture, but the impact was palpable. I couldn’t help but wonder, what the world would be like, if moments like this happened more often.
If nothing else, this is clear: For every step we take to fight ageism against Elders, we need to take an equivalent one for youth. For every Elder’s story that you listen to, take some time to get to know a young person. Ageism against any age group will never truly be defeated, unless we simultaneously deal with how it affects young and old alike. Doing so also builds a much-needed bridge between Elders and young people. As natural allies, they need each other, perhaps now more than ever.
I wanna start a movement on this. I’m 20 years old and I have experienced ageism in the work place. I was hired at 17 and recently left because of the bullying and harrassment. I currently cannot pursue age harassment legal action because I’m under 40 years old. The pain and suffering i went through because of my age. Most of my coworkers gave me looks because I was the youngest in the workplace. I worked so hard to get a position as a shift manager and alot of people knew I was ready for it too. But other management and other coworkers would say I’m too young. Management would talk to me like I’m 12 years old. Like I didnt know how to do my job. My job that I knew how to do very well. Especially the district managers. They treated me like I was a problem that had to be squashed. I tried speaking about my bullying and harrassment so they fired me. This needs to stop.
I know! I’m 29 and I’ve also been bullied by older managers and coworkers. I stood up for myself and I was fired for it. I’ve had enough of my middle aged co-workers trash talking young people for supposedly being badly behaved and lazy. They’re such hypocrites, saying young people are badly behaved when they’re the ones gossiping and slandering with me right in the room. Also, I work the same hours as they do. I’ve worked much longer hours at other jobs and I know lots of people my age who work longer hours than I do so the whole stereotype against young people is a load of bull.
This is very relatable because, as a kid, i feel like i get put down because of my age. Like when my parents ask me to grab something from the store, or pick up food from a restaurant (they drop me off from the car), i feel conscious about walking as a kid. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do. Also, I don’t feel like kids should be expected to respect elderly if they aren’t respected even at all. This is my opinion and you can disagree.
We all were as kids hell im 11 and I get it at school and home I’m always put from other kids and YouTube recommending me r/ I’m 14 and this is deep I just want ageism to end
Thank you for this great information??
Where are the facts in this article?
This article is a twist ,ageism comes from umature jealous over zealous children wake up writers.
Ok! You think this article is a twist, huh? Ageism comes from jealous adults!
Hi Kyle, your comment looks like it’s missing some words or something. What is your meaning exactly? It’s confusing, and certainly don’t want to jump to any conclusions regarding your intent.
Hi I’m 13 and this helps. I just had one of the stupidest arguments against my parents, so now I’m not eating dinner (my choice). But it’s not the argument that has me so upset, it is the simple fact that my parents don’t listen. I can’t recall a single time where my parent’s have argued with me as equals. it’s always with this stupid you’re a kid and I’m an adult so I know better than you blinders on. So thanks.
Sophia,….You are not supposed to be equal to your parents. They are not your friend. They are parents and are the heads of the household and you are the child. Your parents are supposed to discipline you when you break the rules, and that is one of the ways of parents love their kids. They set boundaries to keep you safe from harm. Then just maybe when you get to be an adult, you can look back on this time and thank them for being your parents and not your equal/friend. It’s is simple as that.
While you are right, completely ignoring what your child has to say on the sole fact that their young is neglectful. Yes, when I was 13, I wasn’t the smartest or wisest individual but that didn’t mean that what I had to say didn’t matter. My voice mattered to me when I was 13, and when people who are older don’t allow you to try, it teaches the wrong message to our youth. Do you think the teenagers from Parkland allowed adults to silence them? No. That’s the reason they are so powerful. Our youth shouldn’t be neglected because they are the future. We must educate them to lead us in a positive direction when we’re gone and silencing them will only hold us back.
I HATE DISCRIMINATION
My name is Will. I am 12 years old. Thank you
Yes Will. I am 12 as well and i feel like alot of this bothers me when it comes to agism especially with my dumbfounded part of my family. Ill walk in the store and buy some whipped cream because its my favorite snack (its sweet and fluffy does that not sound good??) Then the store clerk will be on my ass about it and (mostly shes dont mean to be sexist but alot of guys are more chill) try to call the manager. I leave before then and stay in my house all day because i cant go outside without being discriminated.
Thanks for your post. I encountered ageism for a long time as a young highway inspector. Coworkers and contractors would not take me seriously because of my age, and it took a lot of work to gain their respect. It doesn’t help that I have a baby face either.I had become fully certified in every testing and inspection method, and my employer would not promote me based on my youthfulness. It damaged me for a long time. I finally went back to college, finished my degree, and now work in a completely different field. I wish people were more aware of the negative effects of ageism. It was hard working somewhere where I felt discriminated against because I looked too young.
I am an AGNG 200 student at the Erickson School of Aging. I am 21 years of age. I personally have never really seen an issue where an adult ignores or belittles a younger person. I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen just never witnessed it. I personally like talking and conversing with people older then me. It gives me knowledge about how thing use to be done or how life was without certain things, such as the internet. I think where disagreement starts to happen is when both parties think they are better then each other rather then working with each other. I think that younger people don’t listen to what older people have to say because young people think they are know-it-all’s and don’t need help. At the same time older people don’t listen to younger people because older people think younger people are lazy, immature, and disrespectful at times. Both parties just need to let go of stereotypes and respect each other and I believe that once this happens our aging community will become a much stronger community! I really enjoyed reading this post and the comments below
Wow! Sounds to me you’re a hypocritical.
Hello,
I am Maria Lendor an AGNG 200 student at the Erickson School of Aging. I found this post to be very relatable. Though now I am 20 years old I have definitely felt belittled by older adults. One concrete example in my life right now is the older folks at my church. In latter years when the youth tried to change the way things were or tried to make service more in-course with changing times and technology we were halted. Now most of the friends I grew up with in church either no longer attend or only come on special occasions. Now we are left with a dying congregation and the older generation has been forced to have to mend the age gaps.
When looking into the topic of ageism I to inferred that it was the belittlement given to those of older age and I was very pleasantly surprised by this post which eradicated that point of view and made it more about the overall negative connotations we have due to an individuals age.
In class we learned that through time made life become scheduled and that most of us have this idea of what aging is. We also believe that old is equal to being senile so we tend to not listen much to what elders have to say most times, which makes them feel less useful and unwanted. This pattern would explain the growing number of older patients with depression. I believe that the same way we are consciously trying to prevent ageism towards older adults we need to make sure that the “bridge” is created between the old and the young so that any type of hatred or misconceptions are exterminated from our society.
All in all a great post!, Thank you for the insight.
I am an AGNG 200 student at the Erickson school of Aging and this is a great article. As a teenager and a victim of ageism I can fully understand the point you’re trying to get across. Grown-ups believe that since a teenager really hasn’t aged then they shouldn’t be involved in anything aging related, however teenagers are at what I believe is an advantage by not having experienced it for themselves. This allows grown-ups to share their wisdom and for the teenager to gather it all for their later lives so that they don’t make the same mistakes. Grown ups can also learn from teenagers to better their current lives. Grown ups tend to get locked into old ways of doing things which is why they have the belief that teenagers are lazy, many teenagers are not out doing physical labor/working or at the library etc. like grown ups used to do but that doesn’t mean they are lazy. Technology has taken over and there are easier ways of doing things and they can be done faster, so that teenager on the computer all day could achieve the same amount of knowledge that a week at the library would take. Also the internet is one of the greatest utensils ever for up and coming entrepreneurs so there is always a job to be found. I believe that both the young and the old have the right to be involved in agism but if they truly care about it they will put aside their differences and work together.
I am a AGNG 200 student at the Erickson School of Aging and I overwhelmingly agree with the points made in the article. I am 18 and it seems ignorant for someone to question my, or anyone’s interest in aging simply due to young age. Its a process of life that will affect all of us, wanting to learn about it at a young age helps young people gain insight from those that are experiencing it. I love to listen to people’s stories from their life. Getting to know them and the time they grew up in. These stories should be shared. This same principle is true for older people to listen to youth to see how their lives and accomplishments have affected the generations following them. Also, wanting to learn about it should be clear evidence in dismissing the beliefs held by many that teenagers these days are “lazy”, “entitled”, and “aimless”.
Yes, correct, thank you. I live in a 55+ community that is vibrant and friendly, but occasionally I hear the ageist comments directed toward the young. You are so right. We need to be conscious of our behavior because what goes around comes around.
Great article. Reminds us that dismissing any person according to a perceived category can be a big mistake.
one would think that if one suffers prejudice that it would make that person more understanding of the discrimination that other people suffer. how can we think that our generation was different and better and then expect those that we don’t respect to treat us well?
Thank you, Laura. I hadn’t thought before about this kind of ageism. Nice piece.