If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re a member of the Sandwich Generation, caring for parents growing older as well as kids growing up. And if you’ve added a boomerang kid to the mix, that may very well increase your stress level.
Although living together again after living apart has its share of challenges, there’s also a bright side. You have the chance to help your kids get a head start. Consider how you’re supporting them as they try to find a job, get into grad school or save money and develop skills that will facilitate their moving on with their lives.
Determine a time frame. Their ultimate goal ought to be living on their own. Encourage your kids to create long term goals and set short term objectives toward this. Dependency comes with a huge price – having less personal control, potential conflict and unsolicited advice. With a mutual agreement about when to move out, everyone in the family can avoid resentments along the way.
Hold to your commitment. Try to keep limits and deadlines in place. You can arrange a family meeting from time to time and check in with each other. Is the arrangement working out? Do we need to clear the air? Should we negotiate more ground rules? If you work as a team, you’re all more likely to be willing to compromise.
Are you a multi-generational household? If so, your boomerang kids can ease your load by helping to care for their grandparents. Their relationships will deepen while both will learn from each other’s experiences and wisdom.
Enjoy parenting the second time around as you give your boomerang kids a sense of security in their time of need. And relish the family closeness as you create shared memories.