“Wow!”
That’s the word I’m hearing us adults say most often these days regarding the wave of activism led by many teenagers and Millennials in their efforts to impact social and political policy. We’re highly impressed by their passion, integrity, and organizational skills –– in short, with their…maturity.
But what do we really mean when we say that word? Aren’t we actually assuming that the mature behavior these cohorts display is exceptional rather than typical? And is that because we have a very narrow view of the capabilities of a young person?
It’s funny, but people use the same word when reacting to older adults who do what they consider to be exceptionally youthful (or at least middle-aged) things, such a run a marathon, sky-dive, bungee-jump, or climb a mountain. “Wow!”
There’s a strange pattern here. We’re surprised by young people who display what we consider to be the kind of sophistication and wisdom that we associate only with experience and age, as well as by elders who display the physical stamina, prowess, and productivity of people decades younger. It’s as if to be young means only to be strong and to be old means only to be wise. (At this point, it’s worth stating the obvious that not all young people have the same physical abilities and not all old people are equally wise.)
Five years ago, Dr. Bill Thomas blogged on this site about a particularly insidious word, “still,” which, while it is usually used to praise active older adults, actually diminishes the concept of aging in its entirety. He wrote, “We live in an age when older people are deemed worthy only to the degree that, in their thoughts and actions, they resemble young people. This ethos is very rigidly applied and we all know what happens to older people who can’t still do the things that adults are supposed to do. They disappear.”
Let’s consider this disappearing act that our culture imposes on the old. It’s based on two fears. The first is the fear of death, for which old age is the most common precursor. The second is the collective fear of an inevitable, cumulative state of deterioration that we mistakenly attribute to aging. When we assume that all older adults are destined to have stooped postures, cognitive decline, poor eyesight or hearing, slower reaction times, etc. (false assumptions, by the way), we assume that fate for ourselves and fear it. Needing to ease our minds, we resort to a number of strategies to avoid identifying with our future selves and thus seek to distance ourselves from that scenario. We tell ageist jokes, we avert our gaze as we pass elders on the street, we don’t think of including old people in our social activities or policy making efforts. We erase older adults from our social landscape.
What we lack because of this second fear is a more complete, realistic understanding of what it is to grow old. Increased life experience and several significant positive changes in the brain actually help improve older adults’ emotional well-being and can promote greater flexibility, resilience, and a more sophisticated perspective on life. Whenever we apply a “Wow!” factor to older adults based on our assessment of how closely they resemble much younger people, we fail to appreciate the complexity and richness of many others who may not be able –– or may not choose –– to run a marathon, climb a mountain, work full-time, or even physically resemble someone 40 years younger.
We commit a great social injustice by failing to recognize and accept the variety of ways to be a child, or a teen, or a middle-aged adult…or an old person.
Of course, we should always be excited by and supportive of the efforts of others. But to do this in a realistic and fair way, we need to see one another as individuals rather than as examples of a successful or unsuccessful way to live out a certain age. We must remove the factor of age out of any equation expressing the achievements of a human being.
For me, it’s a matter of having a simple hope. I dream that someday we’ll be living in a pro-aging society that understands that all kinds of people at all kinds of ages do (or not do) all kinds of things, a society that promotes their right to live however they choose to live. Maybe someday our “Wow” responses will be replaced by “Ho-hum” ones.
Wow. Wouldn’t that be something to achieve?
Hello,
I am an Aging 320 student at the Erickson School of Aging. I agree with the fact that we believe wisdom comes with age and strength along with being younger. This way of thinking limits the way that one believes they should behave based on their age. In our class, we learned about the Workplace Wellness programs that were set into place to incorporate healthy lifestyles among workers. The focus tendency ended up being on young, healthy workers, instead of all. Older workers tend to be though as incapable of doing much as the younger workers and should be retired. This mindset needs to be stopped because everyone should be given a chance regardless of age.
More great insights, Jeanette, thank you!
I completely understand that WOW factor as I am in the aging field and people are always amazed by my cateer choice that I have stuck with since I graduated to now in my 30’s. I also see it as my mom who is nearing 70 gets WOWs for her adventurous soul that far outbeatd mine! I often feel though that when we know someone is an elder we should respect them the same way we respect the military who serve us. Our seniors have laid down the foundation to what we have plus they have endured years of life, pretty amazing!
I am an AGING 320 student at the Erickson School of Aging. I agree that we need to steer away from the stereotypes of older adults because they are participating in more and more activities now versus how things were in the past. People expect older adults to sit in the house or be sedentary and not try to enjoy their aging years while everyone else does. I believe older adults are trying to live their lives the way they want and take advantage of all opportunities available that were not available for earlier generations. This relates to our class work in the sense that we have discussed new activities older adults are participating in and we have looked at the common stereotypes of older adults and how they are being ignored more often now due to the changing population.