Are eighty-year-olds and even seventy-year-olds the new children?
The days when elders were seen as wise and important contributors to their communities vanished long ago. Thanks to advertising and social media, eighty-year-olds and up are associated with diapers, dementia, and a mountain of hospital-looking equipment that reduces them to their “Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)” needs.
Our exposure to information like this has shifted our perception and elders have become victims of this change in our society.
The same thing could be said for kids in their twenties. It used to be that twenty-two-year-olds were adults—from going to war to getting married and having children.
Those days are long gone, too.
Eighty-year-olds are physically different from forty-year-olds. Just as forty-year-olds are different from eighteen-year-olds. That’s the nature of life and every age has its pros and cons: children under 12 can learn a language as if by magic, someone in their early 20s can run a five minute mile with much more ease than anyone over 50, and those over 80 have deep insights into life that can only be gained through eight decades of living.
Bottom line: our bodies, including our brains, are constantly changing no matter how old we are. However, changes -no matter if they’re for the better or worse- are no reason to turn an 85-year-old into an infant. As I see it, we’re constantly setting up our elders to be treated like helpless babies. For example, when balance is compromised (such as when the inner compass lags behind the speed of body movements), transitions in and out of couches, bathtubs, and beds can be complicated. Yet we overreact by insisting on making their houses look like hospitals by putting in countless medical-looking devices. Nothing will sap a person’s self-confidence and ultimately impair their real mobility like making them feel incompetent. It is true that most people face some challenges with their balance late in life, but they certainly don’t need their old age to be turned into disease.
This situation makes me think about those twenty- eight-year-olds whose mothers worry about what they eat, how much sun they’re exposed to, and actively find them jobs and internships.
Are twenty-eight year-olds that vulnerable? Really? Not long ago that used to be the age when people changed the world.
So, the question is: Why does our society infantilize people in their twenties and their eighties?
Some say it’s because we live so long now that society has no room for so many adults. Meaning, leave twenty-six-year-olds with Master’s degrees at their barista jobs and turn eighty-two-year olds into little babies surrounded by hospital-ware. Is this real? Is it fair? Does it make sense? And who is doing it?
This is happening as I write. Both the wise elder and the independent, self-sufficient twenty something have vanished from our conversations, our social media, and the television screen. It isn’t fair. In fact, it’s one of the most damaging views our society could have about itself. But, who’s doing it? We all are. There is no one to blame but us. Yes, pharmaceutical and hospital equipment makers make more money this way, and yes, our current economy can’t create jobs fast enough for the young beyond the never-ending need for baristas and tattoo artists. However, none of that is set in stone. Cultures and perceptions can be changed when we, as a society, decide to do so. Plenty has changed for the better in just the last ten years.
What’s the solution?
Don’t treat anyone but little kids as kids. Winston Churchill used a cane to help himself with his own transitions while defending his country from impending doom and defeating the worst man of the 20th century. Roosevelt led the free world from a wheel chair! No one, not even today, ever defines Churchill and Roosevelt as helpless sick old men.
Napoleon, on the other hand, is credited with his first victory at the battle of Toulon, at the young age of 24. No helicopter mother needed there either.
Hello! I am an AGNG 320 Student at the Erickson School of Aging. Your article resonates with me so much! We must stop “infantilizing” elderly, and make them feel as if they have a purpose and right to be understood and cared for in a positive, engaging manner. My strong position agreeing to your post relates to the information that I have learned about in class. Haber (2016) exclaimed that a great majority of physicians do not even bother to counsel the elderly on important health-related advice, such as diet control. In addition to providing more and more advice to the elderly, physicians should be sure to cater to the elderly individuals needs. As humans, we were raised to ask questions. This learned communication should not stop when someone turns “of age.”
Doctors should use less jargon and less “eldespeak” when speaking to elderly individuals (Haber, 2016). They both convey the message that the elderly individual is infant-like and incompetent. Jargon and elderspeak are only two examples in ways which elderly individuals are treated as if they were children—unfortunately, I am sure I could sit here all day stating more examples!
Elderly individuals need to be treated with the utmost respect, and have all of their needs met. Although they were once infants, they no longer are. Plain and simple: If they weren’t born yesterday, they must not be treated as if they were. Thank you for sharing!
*there were not enough characters to include my reference into the original post.
Here is the reference for anyone that wants to learn more about Dr. David Haber and his knack for health promotion and positive aging!
Reference:
Haber, D. (2016). Health promotion and aging: Practical applications for health
professionals. 7th edition. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company.
Hello, I am a, AGNG 320 student at the Erickson School of Aging and I think your blog has a lot of good points. As a 23 y/o I have been on the receiving end of being treated like a child but I sort of understand it because 1) apparently I look younger than I actually am and 2) this society seems to treat anyone under 26 as a child. But I can’t imagine being in my 70s or 80s and being treated like that; after living a full life and accumulating so much knowledge and wisdom to be regarded as no more than a child. In class we learned of something called, “elderspeak” which is a way younger adults address older adults that uses shorter and simpler sentences, repetition, and simpler vocabulary. However, I can imagine why it happens though; the elderly develop mobility issues and can’t complete their daily living tasks like before (bathing, dressing) and this makes them comparable to a child.
This does NOT make us comparable to a child!
Ever since my wife and I split up, my son has taken control of my life. He’s moved my things to his house, taken my cell phone away from me, and since I had a car accident, he’s taken the keys to my car. I can’t leave the house without advising him, and/or getting consent! Now he’s brought home adult diapers, and he keeps trying to insist that I wear them. In fact, he has threatened to put me in them himself, whether I like it or not.
I am NOT a child!
Very Well Written !You clearly told us that each body and individuals should be treated differently .Nice and informative one.
This is why each individual should be treated as individuals. What they call Person Centred Approach.
Unfortunately, this younger society assume that everyone over 50 is old, and treat them as Society has instilled in them.
In the UK, there are a number of people who have retired, and then gone back to work, (often a completely different field), and have worked for years. The oldest I have heard of, and still in employed work was 98 (female).
Others retire, and are so busy with fulfilling their lives.
My mother-in-law, Mary, born 1911,went into Service, aged 14, in London,(came from small country village). Worked her way to become housekeeper for prominent family.
Married age 36. Had 2.children (1948 & 1952). Worked in local shop. Husband died suddenly aged 65.(1975). Active in local community and church. Moved to 1 bedroom bungalow in Warden controlled environment. Lived there till her demise Dec.2014,aged 103.
Registered blind, 1988.
Mobile till 2014. Used stick only, till she had a few falls April/May 2014. Then frame.
Help needed only when out, due to blindness. Also with meal prep.
Son Tony did most of this.
No incontinence! No evidence of Dementia related illness.
Simply became too tired to carry on, and passed away where she wanted to be. AT HOME !!!
IF her children had NOT listened to Mary, life could have been so different for her.
This was seen often in Care Homes, that I worked in, over the years. I was in Management.
This is where a lot of adults need to be educated. And not ASSUME, for the best !!!
Hello, I am currently a student at the Erickson School of Aging. I very much agree with the content of this post. I have seen many examples of people, as they age, getting treated like infants and small children. Although, physically they are often times not able to care for themselves as they used to which makes them comparable to children, mentally they are very different. Old people have lived a long life filled with experiences and accumulated a lot of knowledge and skills over the years. Disregarding all this and simply looking at their physical capabilities as the way to treat them is wrong. Old people deserve to be treated with he respect that they deserve because in terms of knowledge and wisdom, they are much more advanced than all of us. This relates to a concept we studied in class called the continue theory. This theory states that old people should be continue with life as they do and should not change the way they approach life simply because of them aging. Moody states that old people don’t change in terms of mental interests and the sort despite their physical decline. Treating them differently is not good because it goes against how they feel inside. There is also another theory in aging we studied in class which is called the activity theory. This states that elder individuals remain the most content when they are active. Treating them like children would go against this because their activity would be limited had they been treated like children.
Moody, H.R., & Sasser, J. R. (2015). Aging Concepts and Controversies (8th ed.). Sage Press. Los Angeles.
I am a middleaged woman who is lucky to have my 88 year old dad still living. We live at opposite ends of the country so I don’t see him as often as I’d like. I certainly don’t want to infantilize or medicalize him. However, he is having balance issues in the transitions from bed, chair, going downstairs, etc. and has had falls. I worry that if he hits his head or breaks a hip he will be much less physically able than he is now and won’t be able to do things he enjoys. I don’t want him to fill his home with medical devices, but I do wish he would use a walker, cane or some other tool to help him keep his balance. I think it’s hard for any of us to admit to needing help as we get older and to accept that we have to take advantage of available tools to stay active.
Hi my name is Mac, an AGNG200 student at the Erickson School of Aging. In class we went over the Continuity theory of aging which relates so well to this article because it talks about treating elder people differently. This is the exact opposite of what the continuity theory explains. No matter how old someone becomes it’s always important, for quality of life, to make people feel important and included. As soon as a person starts to feel uncomfortable with the way they are being treated they will naturally want to isolate themselves. This can lead to depression and it’s overall just the wrong thing to do.
Hi, I am a student at the Erickson School of Aging, and I am taking Aging 200. We have learned about the Continuity theory of Aging, and I feel this is relevant to the article. As people age they want to continue with life as it was, they don’t want people to start treating the differently just because they have gotten old. I really liked the way you brought in the example from the people in their mid twenties. How we treat our elders effect how they will enjoy the rest of their lives, and they want to be treated the same way they were until now.
Hello, I am Olivia, an undergraduate student Erickson school of aging and I am taking an AGNG 200 course. I agree that this is a huge problem in todays society. Many people assume that elderly people automatically need full time assistance, similar to a child, based solely on their age which results in them becoming infantilized. In our textbook there is an activity theory of aging which says that the more active the older adult is the happier they will be, but by treating them as children and not allowing them to live normal live society is taking away their active lives and replacing them with that of an infants.
Moody, H. R., Sasser, J. R. (2015). Aging Concepts and Controversies (8th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc
Good afternoon, I am a senior from The University of Maryland Baltimore County, taking a course in the science of aging within The Erickson School of Aging. Reading your post, I thought about my current “status” as a young adult. At 23, I am about to finish my undergraduate degree, and in a traditional sense of the word, I am an adult. However, my status as a sort of “beginner adult”, if you will, leaves me in an interesting transition, as described in your post. I will soon be expected to find a job within my field of study, and become a fully contributing member of society as one is typically meant to do upon finishing their education. So, in an educational and professional sense, I am treated as an adult would be. Of course, this does not mean I have become entirely self-reliant, and need some assistance from my parents sometimes. As described in your post, I have to admit that this strange sort of in-between phase can make me feel like both and adult and a child, depending on my approach to new challenges and the approach of my family and other older adults in my life.
I believe that it is possible that society infantilizes young adults and those much older because it is, in many ways, the easy way to do things. As a person ages, their ability to take on daily tasks may become limited. Because of this, caretakers and family are tempted to fully assist that person, simply because it is easier for everyone. However, these tasks may still be possible for the individual, and they may not need assistance that can be seen as being treated like a child. This is in line with Moody’s idea that as people age, they do not tend to lose interests or opinions, despite any physical decline in abilities. (Moody 2015) Similarly, parents may be tempted to help their children with typically “adult” tasks such as taxes and choosing insurance, because it is easier for the experienced parent to simply tell their child what they think is best, rather than allowing them to make mistakes or learn through experience.
Moody, H. R., Sasser, J. R. (2015). Aging Concepts and Controversies (8th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc
Good Morning, I am a 2nd year student from Erickson school of Aging taking Agng 200. From what I have read from the article I agree with treating the elderly like a child. Most people do it with the intention of their best interest and some do it with selfish intention. From family members to commercials people feel that their need to immobilize is helping them. If you think about it the nation nowadays don’t even treat children like children. We allow children to fall and say get back up and try again.
Thank you Treniasha.
Hello! I’m an undergraduate student at Erickson School of Aging in the Aging 200 course. Reading your post I realized that there is a significant issue in today’s society with the perception of the elderly. Society assumes that since the elderly generally need more medical attention they are nothing but children, however these people have lived for decades. They have more life experience and wisdom than most, and they should be known for their wise demeanor not for a failing bladder. According to Moody, there is a continuity theory of aging, which basically states that as people age they do not lose their interests or opinions generally they stay the same. (Moody 2015) So if people have so much life experience there is no reason for them to be treated as if they need to learn the alphabet.
Moody, H. R., Sasser, J. R. (2015). Aging Concepts and Controversies (8th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc
Thank you for your comment.
One way that seniors are clearly treated as children is in terms of economic disenfranchisement. After all, adults work and contribute to our economy and society. By not tackling ageism ( both for the 20-30 year olds and the post 50 year olds) in hiring and employment, we are contributing to the inaccurate perception that these groups are like children, who are not expected to work. What a terrible waste of talent and energy to exclude huge numbers of competent people with unique experiences solely on the basis of age! I agree with the author, only children, those under the age of 18 should be treated as children.
Thank you Ella.
Hello, I am a sophomore from Erickson school of Aging taking Aging 200. After reading your post, it made me realize how media had shaped my perception of elders. Commercial on TV for devices such as life alert made me think of elders as helpless beings. However, your post made me think about how much positiveness and knowledge is filled in elderly. Their life experiences are invaluable. Treating elders as children is not fair and their old age isn’t a disease, it is a symbol of invaluable life experience.
Hello Jayti, thank you for your comment. I’m glad you liked my post.
Thank you for your insight Lucero. These sort of post really help people embrace and shift their thinking.
Yes! This was very insightful. Thank you
Yes . Very very true . And all of us are solely and surely to blame . I am 68 and I must move ahead with positivity and instill awareness in others . But its a losing battle . But I must forge ahead no matter what comes . Thank You – Arthur
It unfortunate that you’ve decided it’s a losing battle! It’s a battle that must be fought…so keep up the fight, and forge ahead with confidence and perseverance!!
I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes the people around us forget the value of age. We don’t turn 80 and automatically become weak and senile. We are are still very much alive. What we need is a new perspective on aging, so thank you for this.
Excellent! Thank you for so clearly stating what should be obvious but has been lost – and yes, we’re all responsible. No one, though, more than “Madison Avenue” with its focus on spinning reality in order to make a buck.