Most readers know that I endorse a developmental perspective on age and aging. Here are a few of the data points that led me to hold that position.
1) From a strictly biological perspective, we can see that aging begins in our late 20’s.
2) The biological changes related to aging are tightly integrated and highly coordinated.
3) We often find evidence of growth in age when we take the time to seek it out.
4) Growth gives meaning to life and a life without meaning is not worth living.
Our culture relentlessly undermines our capacity to grow in midlife and beyond with a single, powerful and terribly damaging equation.
AGING = DECLINE
This is what we are told and, for most of us, this is what we believe without thinking.
If I had to summarize the whole of the pro-aging movement in a single expression, it would be this…
AGING = GROWTH
Pro-aging is, by necessity, counter-cultural. It asks us to challenge conventional wisdom of our time.
We all know that the term “coming of age” refers to the bumptious passage out of childhood and into adulthood. It means– “growing up.”
What if we are actually able to “come of age” not once but many times. What if we are meant to reimagine our lives again and again?
Such a prospect is both daunting and liberating. It would mean that we have many chances to get this thing called life— right. The pro-aging community is dedicated to fostering an ongoing process of ongoing growth and development and normalizing this type of exploration within the broader culture.
Coming of Age is exciting, scary, rewarding and risky and we deserve to do it more than once. The young among us are beginning a journey that should encourage them to come of age many times. The adults among us should all have the opportunity to outgrow adulthood and enter into and explore— life beyond adulthood.
Dr. Bill Thomas, I am a student in AGNG 200 at the Erickson School of Aging, and I was particularly drawn to this progressive view of aging. Prior to starting this course I admit I was biased towards the view that aging equals decline, fearful that I would experience a slow descent into senility and inaction. But as Plato and Cicero had both seen, aging can have benefits as we “come of age.” We have an opportunity to take the collective experiences of our lives, the knowledge and wisdom we have amassed, and to draw deeper meaning out of all of it. Or, of course, we can simply live life as fully as we wish, disregarding the stereotypical views of modern society as we are active (skydiving, mountain climbing, scuba diving) and enjoying our experiences in the context of an already full life behind us.
Experience, patience and action, compassion, taking things at a proper pace, knowing when to talk and when to listen, taking the long view, the kind of wisdom it takes a while to learn and earn. I’m only sixty-one and a half so I’m still working on most of those things, but I grow out of old ideas all the time. And into some exciting new ones.
“Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth that around every circle another can be drawn; that there is no end in nature but every end is a beginning; that is always another dawn risen on mid-noon, and under every deep a lower deep opens.”
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you Dr.Thomas! My degree is in Human Development with an emphasis in gerontology so your article really speaks to me. Thanks for the inspiration…
A year ago I developed an incomplete spinal lesion with paraplegia and after rehab am in Assisted living. I appreciate Dr Thomas’s focus and am finding it resonates with other residents here too. I run a small support group for residents here and they are loving focusing on making the most of every day they are blessed with. Having a purpose in life is crucial for “coming of age”.
Thank you, Dr. Thomas for constantly challenging our “conventional wisdom.” This 30something whipper snapper feels this ageist society has had it backwards far too long and is missing an incredible plot unfolding before us. Elderhood should focus on life and legacy, not fixate on decline and diagnoses. I long for the day where all elders are cherished and celebrated as the pillars of wisdom they are to our communities!
I am 69 and I stay active and busy! I continue to read, excercise and take up new challenges! I am now in a water color class and loving it! I’m growing and want to continue inspite of my age! I sure don’t want the rocking chair to get me. I forgot I also kayak!
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone!
Bonnie Soper
This is an absolutely gorgeous posting! I love it, “pro aging is counter cultural.” Yes and yes!! I have started (since January) to write erotic poetry. While it was received beautifully at a recent Open Mic in Eugene, the most important aspect of my writing is that it is, yes, counter cultural. Nobody expects an 81 year old woman to write about, such glorious things. You are grand. Keep going.
I so so so agree with this!!! Wish everyone could see it this way and not waste those precious years. Beauty is not only for 20 year olds, there is many kinds. I work with elders and wish they all felt this way. So many times they look in the mirror and say, “ugh.” I scold them and tell them how they are lovely still, just in a different, but just as wonderful way.
I believe that growth can be more associated with knowledge or mental and aging is just a physical process. So it is possible to “come of age” multiple times.
Your reference to “coming of age” reminds one of the ceremonies found in many cultures that celebrate crossing the threshold between child and adult, and begs the question whether our culture can be encouraged into a pro-aging perspective by adopting similar ceremonies to celebrate thresholds achieved later in life, e.g. an Elder Ceremony celebrating wisdom etc.
There is, of course, truth in the difficulties— agree with you that living should be about more than just the difficulties.