Alisa Scheiner, President of Loving Decisions, sent the following WaPo article to me with a note…
“Thought you might find this article disturbingly interesting”
The 96-year-old woman with mild-to-moderate dementia pinned a piece of paper to her clothing each day to remind herself of the date. She posted scores of notes throughout the house to remember other details of life. “Cut toenails” and “take medication” read notes in her bathroom. And in the kitchen: “Cook the food [daughter-in-law] brought over.”
But the notes that detectives later found in her home contained other, more complex reminders: Thur jan 8 2:40 pm sitting on side of bed. Thinking of [the gardener] and how I love him and it is returned. Friend love.
And: think it is Tues, Jan 12 9:15 PM can’t think what has happened has happened. [The gardener] is unbelievable Is all a dream so much sex! sex! sex! Wonder what will happen next. Think he comes on Tuesdays. Help! . . .
For more than 20 years, the gardener had tended her yard. When he finished, she had often invited him in for a glass or two of wine. Each considered the other a friend. The woman’s son and daughter-in-law lived nearby and helped her with finances, meals and transportation; the daughter-in-law said the woman often talked of the gardener, who was in his mid 50s, as if he were a long-lost son.
But that changed Jan. 13 of this year when, according to a police report, she alleged that he had raped her.
Page Ulrey, the elder-abuse prosecutor in the King County prosecutor’s office in Seattle, wasn’t sure what she was looking at: Was it sexual assault, or consensual physical intimacy that hadn’t worked out as intended? Was the woman capable of making a decision about intimacy? Was she a victim? Had a crime been committed?