Jane Gross from the New York Times has a new blog.
It’s called The New Old Age.
I like it so far.
Here are a couple of posts…
It well written, loaded with content and is likely to become a frequent stop for all of us.
The New York Times done a good job in covering aging for the past few years and I think that this blog is a sign that the paper continues to see the issue as important.
So far, the focus is clearly on “Caring For Your Parents” and the legendary difficulties that such caregiving can entail.
Now for a quibble.
This quote from “Coming Home for Herbie,” while clearly accurate, is a bit off key.
That was the moment, Ms. Winokur said, when she knew she was truly in charge, the role reversal complete. “The time for discussion was over, and I was like a parent talking to a child,” she said. “You can clean up your room or you can’t have dessert.”
The idea that adult children experience a “role reversal” idea is both common and not very helpful. In my experience, this kind of thinking can easily lead to a profound loss of dignity on the part of the older relative. It can also make caregiving more, rather than less, burdensome.
It is better, I think, to conceive of the caregiving relationship as a new phase in the original parent child relationship.
Adult children are often relieved when I say to them, “You are still your mother’s child and you will always be her child but the time has come for you to become a different kind of daughter/son.”
Not better, not worse, just different…