Such an education you all gave Crabby Old Lady on Monday about panties – um, in deference to Lee who finds that word “creepy,” Crabby will stick with “underwear” today.
The older she gets, the more strongly Crabby believes/knows there isn’t much new or different in human behavior and most certainly, there is nothing she does that others would find odd. Nevertheless, she was surprised to read how many of you too own dozens of pairs of undies. Although it works for us, it does seem excessive, don’t you think.
Also, Crabby was amazed to read how neat and tidy Darlene Costner is about storing her clean underwear:
”When I put them away after laundering, I put the new stack under the old so they all get the same amount of wear.”
Some years ago, Crabby finally figured out that underwear doesn’t wrinkle and anyway, who is to see if it does. So she gave up folding them, now just dumps all the undies into a basket she keeps on a shelf in the closet and pulls out a clean pair each morning from the scrambled mess.
Elizabeth Rogers noted an advantage to the brand of undies she buys [emphasis added]:
“Terrific fit and feel and as they claim, no panty line.
In the parlance of technology, women have always considered panty lines a bug and to the extent that we could tolerate pantihose, we were/are happy that they eliminate panty lines. But it could be that we have been misled and they are, instead, a feature.
For a number of years a long while ago, Crabby dated a wonderful man who had a delightful sense of humor about sexual attraction in all its guises and possibilities for fun.
To him, panty lines were sexy and he despised pantihose for removing an innocent, small pleasure he could indulge just walking about the neighborhood on his daily or weekly errands. Crabby has often wondered if other men feel that way.
But that’s not why she came here today. Crabby wants to talk about her newly boney butt.
Well, it’s not really boney – she hasn’t lost that much weight, but that phrase is the best way she can describe the problem succinctly: that Crabby Old Lady can no longer sit for any length of time without her bottom aching.
Soft chairs or hard, with and without cushions or pillows, even reading in bed – after 20 or 30 minutes, the ache is so painful that Crabby needs to get up and walk around for awhile.
As noted last February in a post titled, What Happened to My Butt,
”But I still have to ask, what happened to my cute keister? It’s not exactly flat now but there is no shape. I know this because – only for the purpose of this blog post, you understand – I checked it in an angled mirror.”
Having then only just begun her 2012 diet, Crabby had yet to lose any discernible amount of weight and had no trouble sitting for as long as she wanted. But that’s no longer so.
It took only a short tour around the web via Google to find that this may not be just a minor manifestation of aging that we can get silly about. Crabby’s boney butt pain is probably due to loss of muscle mass which is common in elders.
According to the experts, this results in weakness and fatigue, loss of strength, contributes to poor balance, slower gait, falling and reduced ability to carry out activities of daily living – among other difficulties in a long list. In other words, it is not to be laughed off.
What prevents all these problems is strength training. Oh dear. Now Crabby must consider how to work that into her schedule and all she really wanted to do today was bitch a little and have some fun with an issue she thought was only a mild irritant.
At The Elder Storytelling Place today, Ralph Lymburner: The Circus is Coming