I was watching the live recording of Will Smith as he prepared to bungee jump out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. I kept saying out loud, “I’m nervous. Oh. My. God. Don’t do this! I don’t wanna watch! Wait, yes I do! He’ll be fine. Aah!” As time drew closer to him getting on the helicopter, he admitted he was feeling shaky. You could see a change in his posture and facial expressions. No more joking and laughing. The fear had hit him. He had so many opportunities to say “I don’t want to do this.” I found myself tearing up throughout because I completely understood all of the emotions he showed. At 50 years old, here is Will Smith in all of his dopeness, showing people how he faces his fears head-on. What if we all started doing this on a consistent basis with everything that comes our way? I’m sure this aging process would be more enjoyable and we’d have less regrets.
Jump!
So many things were said throughout the recording that spoke to me but were purposed to instruct Will on how to jump. How often do you jump? Meaning, how often do you find yourself in a situation that brings fear, but instead of letting it take control, you attack it like a lion…raaawr?! At age 29, I flew on an airplane by myself for the first time. It was a big deal because I do not like flying and the fact that I went to a busy airport and boarded a flight alone was a conquered fear. Afterward, I remember saying to myself ‘hmm..that wasn’t so bad.” Similar words were said by Will as he dangled in the air while waiting to be lowered. He said ‘complete terror turned into pure bliss.” At age 30 I started a blog (those who have been keeping up with all of this know that) and it was the scariest thing for me to do. I kept talking myself out of it. Kept making excuses on why I shouldn’t start a blog. However, I realized I had talked and daydreamed about this idea for too long. The fear was trying to control me. To not act on it, would more than likely bring more pain. Regret.
Will’s purpose of conquering his fear was to show it who was in control. However, the point I want to make with you all today is the things we allow to stop us in our place and not act on, can later turn into ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’s.’ Regret is a big deal in aging. Erik Erikson’s, Integrity vs. Despair stage, talks about looking back on life and feeling satisfied or being filled with regrets. Whenever I hear someone say ‘I’m too old to be out here learning how to…blah blah…or doing..blah,” I get a little irked. I honestly feel like age is a contributing factor to why so many people don’t do what they want. Afraid of looking like a fool or failing. I’ve never seen a list of rules like this:
1. If you are over the age of 30 you can no longer make mistakes.
2. If you are over the age of the 40 you can no longer change your mind about what you want out of life.
3. If you are over the age of 50 you can no longer take risks.
4. If you are over the age of 60 you can no longer learn something new.
5. If you are 70 or older, just stop it. Die.
I’m sure you’ve never seen rules like those either because they DON’T EXIST. Society makes up those rules with myths that for some reason we have deemed them to be law. Conquering a fear has no age limit. It is not just specific to younger individuals who are living their ‘best life’ in their 20’s. It’s not an easy task either, so don’t get the impression that I’m saying conquering fear is a no-brainer. Fear is definitely a mind over matter type of thing, but it makes us better when we stand up to it. It’s like cloud nine. It’s legit that pure bliss Will was talking about. Age is a barrier that we place before us to convince ourselves it’s not that we are afraid but just too old. Let’s change how we think. If we are physically, mentally and emotionally able to do what it is we want to do, that is all that matters. Clichè line coming in 5,4,3..because guys, age ain’t nothin’ but a numba.
What amazes me is fear, for some reason disappears when we are told we have a few months to live. Have you ever noticed that? I was watching “The Bucket List” a few weeks ago. Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson had both became ill and were given a certain amount of time to live. So they go out on this journey to check things off of their bucket list and nothing stopped them, not even fear. I mean why would fear stop them? They were dying. But, when you think about it, we are all going to die. I mean, duh. We may not have the specific timeframe that some people are given, but knowing that any day could be THE day should cause us to crank up and go on this journey of doing what it is we want to do…big or small.
Jump Far and Keep Looking Up
One of the instructions Will was given before getting on the helicopter was “if you don’t remember anything else, just remember to jump far and keep looking up.” I share that with you today, in hopes that all of the things inhibiting you from truly enjoying life will no longer be the case. Jump far and look up, remembering there is no limit. As I typed all of this to you all, it was really for me, but I like to share. Fear is a bunch of explicit words that I don’t wish to include in this post. It’s something I plan to no longer let control my life. From here on out I’m jumping…who’s with me?
Find the link to Will Smith’s jump here.
“Just commit and don’t think about anything else.” -Willard Carroll Smith Jr.
“What would you do, you knew you couldn’t fail? I have no fear in anything, I do everything well.” -Jay Z
Hello, I also am a student taking AGNG320 from the Erickson School of Aging, here at UMBC. This post was quite inspirational for me, as I never want to be restricted from doing something due to my fears or my age. I do not want to be limited by anything due to my age. Admittedly, I have quite a bit of time before age becomes a major limiting factor in achieving things on my bucket list. In our class, we study how our lives change as we age, but some age far less gracefully than others. We are studying how to make our aging and the aging of those around us as graceful as possible. As age sets in, things will inevitably become more difficult, but it is important to not let the fears that come with aging prevent us from accomplishing our goals, no matter what they may be.
I am a current AGNG320 student at the Erickson School of Aging and this has been by far my favorite blog post I have read. Many times, regardless of age, fear is the main and only drawback that prevents individuals from doing something meaningful. As you had mentioned, we have often have regret and question that maybe they could/should have done a part of our life differently. Whether it is bungee jumping out of a helicopter or traveling the right mindset needs to be present. With the right emotional, mental, and physical support, age should never be a factor in preventing an elderly from living their life however they choose to (as long as they are physically, mentally, and emotionally able). Interestingly, I had just recently come across a program called The Road Scholar program in my class which is essentially a program designed for elders who love to travel in groups. From the program’s video, you could truly see the bonds that were made and happiness within each interviewee. Although overcoming fear is easier said than done, the results of it are truly remarkable.
I’m a current student in AGNG 320 at the Erickson School of Aging at UMBC and this was one of the most touching blog post I’ve seen in a while. It starts off by giving a great example of facing your fear at any age possible. As we grow older we see parents stop being involved with their kids in activities like sports, partying, or anything that makes us feel younger because something in our mind is telling us that we are too old and it is time to give it up. That is never the case and that is always a mindset that people seem to adapt to when they get older. A way you can see it in the class that I am taking is how adults seem to settle down and stop doing extraordinary things like traveling, hiking, partying, anything that makes them happy because they feel as they are too old. They are living in fear and they are committing to non-existing standards. That should never be the case and everyday should be spent fearless and outgoing like it’s your last day to live.
I am currently a student for AGNG 320 at the Erickson School of Aging, and I loved this post a lot mostly because it brings awareness to older adults that at no age do you have to stop living. There is no time limit on things that you want to accomplish and to just go for it. In class with a lot of the readings there have been times when we have read about the negative things for getting older like more likely to get injuries from things. With that we have seen that it’s good to still live a good life as you get older, like travel, spend more time with your friends, so with this article facing your fear as stated doesn’t have to be done before you find out you may be dying, but at any time. Life is very short so why not make the best of all of it that you can.
I’m a current student in AGNG 320 at the Erickson School of Aging at UMBC, and all the encouragement you mentioned for the different age groups is completely related to what I have learned so far in that class. It connects to continuing the encouragement of adults to do things they like and to try new things, no matter how old we can be we will always have some sort of fear that we can face and go through. As you mentioned, it is important that no matter if you are 60 years old you can still learn new things, and this is something I’ve learned in that class to encourage adults. Great post, and when you mentioned that when we are told we only have a short time to live stops our fears of doing things that couldn’t be more accurate!
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Super post and so very true! Conquering our fears as we age enhances the overall quality of our lives.
Great post! Let’s conquer fear and keep living more and more as we age!
Was terrified just WATCHING the vid LOL. Thanks for a great post 🙂