I hope folks are enjoying ChangingAging’s new design and features. Our Submissions Page is now live and ready to accept guestblog submissions, Journey stories and your Questions. I’m going to kick things off with a question of my own that I hope the ChangingAging community can help me with.
This week I received a guestblog submission from a wonderful ChangingAging reader who is writing a book on graceful aging and submitted a post listing her Top 15 Books on Aging. I was so excited to receive one of our first submissions that it was truly upsetting when I realized I had to reject it.
The description of her book on graceful aging sounded wonderful, with a great focus on the positive aspects of aging, meaningful living and legacy. However, when I took a look at her top 15 books I realized that every book on her list was about life extension, anti-aging strategies and longevity.
Now, several of her picks are great books, such as aging-guru Robert N. Butler’s “The Longevity Prescription: The 8 Proven Keys to a Long, Healthy,” or “The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest” by Dan Buettner. But the bulk of the list are books I would only post on ChangingAging to criticize for their obsession with superficial youth, such as Ageless Face, Ageless Mind: Erase Wrinkles and Rejuvenate the Brain by Dr. Nicholas Perricone or the dubious RealAge: Are You as Young as You Can Be?, part of the RealAge.com website that operates as a front for the Pharmaceutical Industry to collect consumer information (with backing by Oprah and Dr. Oz).
I emailed the reader explaining my thoughts and asked for her feedback (I’m waiting for a reply). I explained that our mission at ChangingAging is to counter society’s obsession and worshiping of youth. We believe this obsession with youth has many negative consequences on society, one of which is that the worth of people is largely determined by their apparent youthfulness. Rather than focus on how to “retain youth”, we are trying to change the way society views aging to become more accepting of old age and more open to the positive attributes of aging.
Which leads to my two-part question:
1) Do you think I did the right thing rejecting this guest post?
2) What are the best Pro-Aging books that we should be featuring on ChangingAging? We’ve been compiling a Top 50 Pro-Aging book list and would love to hear what you’re reading. Take a look below and let us know what we’re missing — we have a few slots open.
- Abrahams, Ruby, At The End of The Day
- Butler, Robert, N, Why Survive?: Being Old in America
- Butler, Robert, N, The Longevity Revolution: The Benefits and Challenges of Living a Long Life
- Chittister, Joan, The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully
- Cohen, Gene, D., The Creative Age – Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life
- Cohen, Gene, D., The Mature Mind: The Positive Power of the Aging Brain
- Dass, Ram, Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying
- Fischer, Kathleen, Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging
- Freedman, Marc, The Big Shift: Navigating the New Stage Beyond Midlife
- Friedan, Betty, The Fountain of Age
- Fry, Prem, S., Keyes, Corey L.M., New Frontiers in Resilient Aging: Life-Strengths and Well-Being in Late Life
- Graydon, Shari, I Feel Great About By Hands: And Other Unexpected Joys of Aging
- Green, Brent, Generation Reinvention
- Grossman, I.Michael, ming to Terms with Aging
- Hanson, Amy, Baby Boomers and Beyond: Tapping the Ministry Talents and Passions of Adults over 50
- Heilbrun, Carolyn G., The Last Gift of Time:Life Beyond Sixty
- Hill, Robert, D,Seven Strategies for Positive Aging
- Hurd, Clarke, Laura, Facing Age: Women Growing Older in Anti-Aging Culture
- Jackman, Elspeth, Enjoying Later Life (Making a Difference)
- Lustbader,MSW, Wendy, Life Gets Better
- Martz, Sandra, Grow Old Along with Me, The Best Is Yet to Be
- Matzkin, Alice, The Art of Aging: Celebrating the Authentic Aging Self
- Moody, PhD, and David Carroll, The Five Stages of the Soul: Charting the Spiritual Passages That Shape Our Lives
- Moody, PhD, Sasser, Jennifer, Aging: Concepts and Controversies
- Morgan, PhD, Leslie A.,Kunkel PhD, Suzanne R., ng, Society, and the Life Course, Fourth Edition
- Morganroth Gullette, Margaret, Agewise: Fighting the New Ageism in America
- Morganroth, Gullette, Margaret, Aged by Culture
- Nelson, Todd D., Ageism: Stereotyping and Prejudice against Older Persons
- Nouwen, Henri, J.M., Gaffney, Walter,J Aging:The Fulfillment of Life
- Plotkin, Bill, Nature and the Human Soul: Cultivating Wholeness and Community in a Fragmented World
- Powell, Jason, Gilbert, Tony, Aging Identity: A Dialogue with Postmodernism
- Reid, Eve, Fearless Aging: A Journey of Self Discovery, Soul Work and Empowerment
- Rich, Cynthia, MacDonald, Barbara, Look Me in the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism
- Richmond, Lewis, Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
- Rohr, Richard, Falling Upward:A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life
- Sarton, May, As We Are Now
- Sarton, May,Encore: A Journal of the Eightieth Year
- Schachter-Shalomi, Zalman, Miller, Ronald, Age-ing to Sage-ing
- Sperry, Len, Prosen, Harry, Ageing in the Twenty-first Century: A Developmental Perspective
- Thomas, William H M.D., What Are Old People For
- Thomas, William H, M.D.In The Arms of Elders
- Thomason, Sally Palmer, e Living Spirit of the Crone: Turning Aging Inside Out
- Walker, Smith, J., Clurman, Ann, Generation Ageless: How Baby Boomers Are Changing the Way We Live Today….And They’re Just Getting Started
- Weintraub, Arlene, Selling the Fountain of Youth: How the Anti-Aging Industry Made a Disease Out of Getting Old-And Made Billions
- Williamson, Marianne, The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife
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I agree with your decision also. It seems to me that ageing well is about finding meaning and purpose as we transition from working full-time and being busy, to living a life of more fulfilment and joy. This transition to new beginnings may mean accommodating health, relationship and financial issues that accompany growing older of course. I would commend the fine work of Dr George Vaillant of Harvard University and his longitudinal studies, reflected in his books ‘Ageing Well’(2002, Little Brown) and ‘Triumphs of Experience’ (2012, Belnap Harvard) .For more investigative reading I recommend the life stages work of Daniel Levinson in ‘The Seasons of a Man’s Life’ and ‘The Seasons of a Woman’s Life’.
I agree with your decision. To me, aging is a profound journey moved along by losses of all shapes and sizes by which we surrender the old self of the busy middle years and await a new kind of self experience. Energy, senses, health, goals, understandings all change and we often lose friends, family, roles and identities in this process. It’s not easy and the goal isn’t necessarily life extension, which often seems to me like a denial of age. Age is meant to change us, deepen us, and awaken us. It is an initiation into a completely kind of life, a transformation of body and self, and the revelation of a new and really sacred world all around us. Our new and unprecedented longevity represents a truly new stage of human life filled with age-appropriate psychological and spiritual tasks that can contribute to humankind’s evolution of consciousness and morality. It’s not about me anymore – that’s Boomer narcissism, it’s about something so much larger. This stage may even be the flowering of a new kind of human. So let us not be so afraid of change and loss, and through the our grief, know much more than we did before about what life’s meaning and purpose. I would ask you to consider adding one of more of my works on aging (The Three Secrets of Aging, Bedtime Stories for Elders, and What Aging Men Want) to your list of recommended books. As a psychologist, interfaith minister, and aging man, I am following a thread of profound personal growth and awakening in these years that are certainly a gift of grace. Many thanks, John
John, what a wonderful and thoughtful comment. Thank you so much for sharing. I will commit to review each of your books for consideration to include on our list (which we will enshrine in a more formal format soon). In return, can you share with us a couple of the books that most influenced/guided you in writing these works?
Gladly! 1) Florida Scott-Maxwell’s book, The Measure of My Days, is a gutsy and profound look at aging written in the first person by a Jungian therapist in her 80′s. It is very insightful and a must read. 2) All the books published by Second Journey Publications are edited collections from Bolton Anthony and include some fine writers on elder themes like serving, inner work, passages to elder hood, and writing as spiritual practice. I have been asked recently to contribute to this lovely series. 3) There is a poem by Stanley Kunitz called The Layers contained in his last work, The Wild Braid, written around the age of 90 that is the most beautiful and amazing description of the state of old age I have ever seen. I can send you a copy if wish. Thanks so much. Best wishes, John
I totally agree with your choice to reject her selections! Hurray for you! I have often thought that if we who are working with elders to change the culture and create better services for elders could get 5 cents of every dollar spent on anti-aging creams and products we would never have to worry about how to fund programs again!
Kavan,
I’m honored to see my name and book included with this list. For clarification, I have written two books with titles led by “Generation.” My most recent business book, “Generation Reinvention,” discusses how Boomers are changing business, marketing, aging and the future. Last year I quietly published “Generation Liberation” as a Kindle book. This book includes twelve short stories within three sections covering Boomer youth, mid-life and old age. The fiction book addresses aging in many ways, both uplifting and with consternation. I’m wondering if perhaps you intended to include “Generation Reinvention” in this list since the book explores business, culture, sociology, and media portrayals of aging. Thanks,
Brent Green
You got it Brent! Post is updated.
Bill, the best “books” on aging for me were the stellar staff and Cohorts at the Erickson School and the “Management of Aging Services” at UMBC..the learning, examples, compassion, skills of all, taught me so much about older people, and what we have to bring..the skits, the presentations, the comaradary..a wonderful experience…thanks for it all..Marge Mulcare Cohort 1
I enjoyed Barbara Strauch’s The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain
The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind
Pretty good Becky, and I am loving this comment thread. Hope you are well. Your favorite book ???
I find James Hillman’s book The Force of Character a very important and repeated read.
Agree! James Hillman’s book was the first book I read on aging, years ago, and the book I return to regularly.
Susan Weed – New Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way. Beautiful book on embracing a natural transition in life.
Maybe I missed it, but I would include Successful Aging by John Wallis Rowe and Robert L. Kahn. This was the report of findings from the MacArthur Foundation Study of Aging in America, and is the foundation for so much work being done to improve the senior living experience. I always suggest it to anyone who wants a good overview of the key elements of a successful aging process.
This absolutely should go on the list. It explodes some of the most damaging myths of aging and inspired me to start my blog.
Aging, Rights and Quality of Life: Prospects for Older People with Developmental Disabilities-
Stanley S. Herr (Editor), Germain Weber (Editor), Gunnar Dybwod (Foreword)
http://www.amazon.com/Aging-Rights-Quality-Life-Developmental/dp/1557663807/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358461886&sr=1-4&keywords=developmental+disability+aging
http://www.amazon.com/Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender-Aging/dp/0231136188
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Aging: Research and Clinical Perspectives edited by Douglas Kimmell
http://www.psypress.com/books/details/9781560241744/
Activities With Developmentally Disabled Elderly and Older Adults
By M Jean Keller
I am old! Don’t care much for the wrinkles but that is part of the aging process. I don’t have a problem with aging as much as I have with the comments, jokes, disrespect, patronizing, and stupid stereotypes that I am/we are subjected to each day. All I ask is that I be allowed to continue being who I am and respected as an individual who has lived a long time. I respect people for who they are, not for the number of years they have or have not lived.
You rejected a comment but then commented on it yourself? Talk about patronizing an older person . . . you have defined that attitude.
Richard — Don’t you think we should have editorial standards? We certainly don’t reject comments — anyone is free to post comments in the comments section. But we’re not going to publish an article diametrically opposed to the mission of our publication. Why would we do that?
And if you object to my writing about it — well, I felt the author, as well as our audience, deserved an explanation. I call that transparency, not patronization. And where do you get off assuming the reader is an “older person”?
You know what they say about the word ASSUME.
Journal of a Solitude By May Sarton (I think this is the best of Sarton’s several on age)
The Longevity Revolution by Dr. Robert N. Butler (precedes the Longevity Prescription book
The Summer of a Dormouse by British playwright, novelist and barrister, John Mortimer, who is also the author of the Rumpole of the Bailey series of stories. The first sentence is: “The time will come in your life, it will almost certainly come, when the voice of God will thunder at you from the cloud, ‘From this day forth thou shalt not be able to put on thine own socks.’”
Travels with Epicurus, A Journey to a Greek Island in Search of a Fulfilled Life by Daniel Klein (brand new and wonderful)
My Twice-Lived Life by Donald M. Murray (fabulous essays from his great weekly newspaper column on getting old)
The Art of Aging, A Doctor’s Prescription for Well-Being by Sherwin B. Nuland
Somewhere Toward the End, A Memoir by Diana Athill
Old Age by Simone de Beauvoir
The Long History of Old Age, edited by Pat Thane
Old Age, Journey Into Simplicity by Helen M. Luke
I loved Susan Jacoby’s acerbic Never Say Die: The Myth and Marketing of the New Old Age. British author Diana Athill’s wonderful memior Somewhere Near the End explores what it is like to be old from the point of view of 90. In her book, You Could Live a Long Time: Are You Ready, Canadian Lyndsay Green interviews numerous elders to glean their wisdom about living in old age.
There are so many!! Here are my favorites:
Learning from Hannah: Secrets for a life worth living (*this book was transformational for me, thank you
(William H. Thomas, M.D.)
Alzheimer’s from the inside out (Richard Taylor, Ph.D.)
Don’t Stop the Career Clock (Helen Harkness)
Forget Memory (Anne Basting)
“Aging with Grace” by David Snowden, PhD
Thank you for giving me reason to make use of my Amazon account. LOL I have read many of these books and enjoyed them. As for the rejection of the article- I think you were in the right. I have been asked to promote anti-aging lotions and potions, but refuse to do so. I am all for assisting people to “take care” of their bodies while embracing who they are and where they are in their journey. It is about living, expressing life as authentically YOU. When my books are published I hope they will make your “the best Pro-Aging books” list.
I look forward to reading more about the exploration of life after adulthood.
I might add “Composing a Further Life: The Age of Active Wisdom” by Mary Catherine Bateson
Hi Bill, how are things with you and your family?
Pretty good Becky and I am loving this comment thread. Hope you are well. Your favorite book ???