I haven’t had the chance to see the new film Amour by director Michael Haneke but reviewers are calling it one of the most masterful films about aging, mortality and “amour.” So I put a request out to our ChangingAging LinkedIn group and asked for user reviews. Have you watched Amour? Please share your reviews in the comments below.
Deborah Cooke • I’m not good at formal reviews, but this movie is fantastic. By no means is it easy to watch. As professionals in the field and often caregivers ourselves, we see this all too often. The pace is perfect as it shows the real struggle of keeping someone “alive” through a slow decline. The depiction of an older devoted husband insisting on caring for his beloved wife, without assistance, is so real. The actors truly are immersed in this very real experience. Unfortunately the movie brings to life and light the feeling shared by all caregivers. I do recommend it. Bring your tissues.
Catherine Yanda • The movie brings home the point that caregiving & love are intertwined. The bond between these two actors captured something real that is difficult to explain, rarely discussed and usually invisible even to those close to ‘caregiving couples’. This applies whether the two are spouses, friends, or one in which there is a parent and an adult child.
I liked this movie – it avoided forced humor and being preachy. It clearly was crafted by a master film maker who understood the subject at the gut level. At least for me it sought to remind us that in these instances that the relationship should be understood as a third distinct “we” as a physical presence and personality in addition to the two separate individuals. This bond of “we” grows stronger as external events peel away to leave the couple to live every day as today even as they look back and forward.
Facing one’s mortality while caring for another with the certainty that you will be there at the end should be celebrated – not feared. I’d like to see the reviews people submit – perhaps we can share them here as well as the main site.
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Sure raises a lot of questions regarding caregiving, mental health, euthanasia, social assistance…we’re in deep trouble if these issues remain unaddressed & underfunded because our present situation is not fiction, large numbers of caregivers are struggling with very real & emotional family relationships juggling too many balls in the air…money will buy good care but far too often the cost is out of reach. Amour is a moving love story, however, it reveals visceral subject matter that is the real stuff of life for many.
I would be a little less enthusiastic about endorsing this film. It is a downer for sure if one has not carefully thought about how one wants to die, or if you are among the increasing number of people that does not have a traditional family structure and a well informed one if you do. While it is about “Amour”, It is also about the tragedy of late life medical mistakes and burdens of home care and a slow and agonizing death if not carefully planned for.
Thanks Ken — I definitely gleaned that from some of the media reviews. Do you think it’s overly dark or needlessly depressing? Hopefully viewers will learn something from it.
For people that have had the experience of caring for a loved one in the last stages of life, it would be very depressing, as it was for my companion. One would have to ask, if they were in the place of the woman that was dying in the film, would they choose that path if they were given a choice? I am among those that would not, “Amour” or not I want a “a natural death”, and it seemed to me the woman was begging for that in the film as many have that have been institutionalized and or are dying at home. I am fortunate to live in a state where a Death with Dignity law is in place.
Incredibly beautiful and moving film.
A wonderful movie, but do not go if you’re feeling blue.